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Say What? Mean Girls
Written by: Arshi (Age 15, Canada)
In 'Say What', we assemble some of our favorite quotes from films, televisions, celebs, and historical figures.
It's back to school time for many of you! So in honor of the
place where we spend most of our day, here are some of the quotes from
one of the most famous movies set in a school - Mean
Girls!
[note: all quotes have been edited so that they are age appropriate
for the readers of Portrait Magazine]
Janis: That one there, that's Karen Smith. She is one of the dumbest
girls you will ever meet. Damien sat next to her in English last year.
Damian: She asked me how to spell orange.
Janis: That little one, that's Gretchen Wieners.
Damian: She's totally rich because her dad invented Toaster Streudels.
Janis: Gretchen Wieners knows everybody's business, she knows
everything about everyone.
Damian: That's why her hair is so big, it's full of secrets.
Janis: And evil takes a human form in Regina George. Don't be fooled
because she may seem like your typical selfish, back-stabbing girl,
but in reality, she's so much more than that.
Damian: She's the queen bee - the star, those other two are just her
little workers.
Regina: Get in loser, we're going shopping.
Regina: Ma'am, do you have this in the next size up?
Saleslady: Sorry, we only carry sizes 1, 3, and 5. You could try
Sears.
Gretchen: I'm sorry that people are so jealous of me... but I can't
help it that I'm so popular.
Regina George: She thinks she's gonna have a party and not invite me?
Who does she think she is?
Shane Oman: You're right, hon.
Regina George: I like invented her, you know what I mean?
Karen: Why are you dressed so scary?
Cady: It's Halloween.
Karen: I can't go out *cough*cough* I'm sick.
Regina: Boo, you suck!
Damian: [delivering candy canes] Taylor Zimmermann, two for you. Glenn
Coco? FOUR for you, Glenn Coco! You go, Glenn Coco. And uh... "Caddy"
Heron. Do we have a "Caddy" Heron here?
Cady: It's Cady.
Damian: Oh Cady, here you go, one for you... And none for Gretchen
Wieners, bye.
Betsy Heron: Where's Cady?
Chip Heron: She went out.
Betsy Heron: She's grounded.
Chip Heron: Are they not suppose to be let out when they're grounded?
Karen: Gretchen, I'm sorry I laughed at you that time you got diarrhea
at Barnes & Nobles... And I'm sorry for telling everyone about it...
And I'm sorry for repeating it now.
Chip Heron: Hey, how was school?
Cady: Fine.
Betsy Heron: Were people nice?
Cady: No.
Chip Heron: Did you make any friends?
Cady: Yes.
Cady: [about Regina] I have this theory, that if you cut off all her
hair she'd look like a British man.
Regina: But you're, like, really pretty.
Cady: Thank you.
Regina: So you agree?
Cady: What?
Regina: You think you're really pretty?
Cady: Oh... I don't know.
Regina: Oh my God, I love your skirt! Where did you get it?
Lea Edwards: It was my mom's in the '80s.
Regina: Vintage, so adorable.
Lea Edwards: Thanks.
Regina: [after girl walks away] That is the ugliest skirt I've ever
seen.
Karen: There's a 30% chance that it's already raining!
Karen: If you're from Africa, why are you white?
Gretchen: Oh my God, Karen, you can't just ask people why they're
white.
Damian: [reading Cady's class schedule] Health, Spanish... you're
taking 12th Grade Calculus?
Cady: Yeah, I like math.
Damian: Eww. Why?
Cady: Because it's the same in every country.
Damian: That's beautiful. This girl is deep.
Regina: Why don't I know you?
Cady: I'm new. I just moved here from Africa.
Regina: What?
Cady: I used to be home-schooled.
Regina: Wait... what?
Cady: My mom taught me at home...
Regina: No, I know what home-school is, I'm not stupid! So you've
actually never been to a real school before? Shut up! Shut up!
Cady: I didn't say anything.
Gretchen: Irregardless, ex-boyfriends are just off limits to friends.
I mean that's just like the rules of feminism.
Regina: Cady, do you even know who sings this?
Cady: Um... the Spice Girls?
Regina: I love her. She's like a Martian!
Gretchen: That is so fetch!
Regina: Gretchen, stop trying to make fetch happen! It's not going to
happen!
Karen: God. My hips are huge!
Gretchen: Oh please. I hate my calves.
Regina: At least you guys can wear halters. I've got man shoulders.
Cady: [voiceover] I used to think there was just fat and skinny. But
apparently there's lots of things that can be wrong on your body.
Gretchen: My hairline is so weird.
Regina: My pores are huge.
Karen: My nail beds suck.
[pause. All look at Cady]
Cady: I have really bad breath in the morning.
Karen: Ew!
Gretchen: So fetch!
Regina: What is fetch?
Gretchen: Oh, it's like slang, from... England.
Cady: Calling somebody else fat won't make you any skinnier. Calling
someone stupid doesn't make you any smarter. And ruining Regina
George's life definitely didn't make me any happier. All you can do in
life is try to solve the problem in front of you.
Karen: You know who's looking fine tonight? Seth Mosakowski.
Gretchen: Okay, you did not just say that.
Karen: What? He's a good kisser.
Gretchen: He's your cousin.
Karen: Yeah, but he's my first cousin.
Gretchen: Right.
Karen: So, you have your cousins, and then you have your first
cousins, and then you have your second cousins...
Gretchen: No, honey, uh-uh.
Karen: That's not right, is it?
Gretchen: That is so not right.
Mr. Duvall: Her name is Cady. Cady Heron. Where are you, Cady?
Cady: That's me. It's pronounced like Katie.
Mr. Duvall: My apologies. I have a nephew named Anfernee, and I know
how mad he gets when I call him Anthony. Almost as mad as I get when I
think about the fact that my sister named him Anfernee.
Janis: Regina George... How do I begin to explain Regina George?
Emma Gerber: Regina George is flawless.
Mathlete Tim Pak: I hear her hair's insured for $10,000.
Amber D'Alessio: I hear she does car commercials... in Japan.
Kristen Hadley: Her favorite movie is Varsity Blues.
Short Girl: One time she met John Stamos on a plane...
Jessica Lopez: ... and he told her she was pretty.
Bethany Byrd: One time she punched me in the face... it was awesome.
Cady: I'm thinking of joining Mathletes.
Damian: You can't join Mathletes, it's social suicide!
Ms. Norbury: Thanks, Damian.
Gretchen: Why should Caesar get to stomp around like a giant, while
the rest of us try not to get smushed under his big feet? What's so
great about Caesar? Hm? Brutus is just as cute as Caesar. Brutus is
just as smart as Caesar. People totally like Brutus just as much as
they like Caesar. And when did it become okay for one person to be the
boss of everybody, huh? Because that's not what Rome is about. We
should totally just stab Caesar!
Damian: Oh, my God! I love this song!
Janis: I hate this song.
Cady: I know this song!
Ms. Norbury: Sometimes older people make jokes too.
Damian: My grandma takes her wig off when she's drunk.
Ms. Norbury: Your grandmother and I have that in common.
Cady: Grool... I meant to say cool and then I started to say great.
Cady: So, are you gonna send any candy canes?
Regina: No. I don't send them, I just get them. So you better send me
one.
Mrs. George: I'm not a regular mom, I'm a cool mom. Right, Regina?
Regina: Please stop talking.
Cady: Wow. Your house is really nice.
Regina: I know, right?
Janis: Oh, I love seeing teachers outside of school. It's like seeing
a dog walk on its hind legs.
Mr. Duvall: Well, I just wanted to let everyone know that we have a
new student joining us. She just moved here all the way from Africa.
Ms. Norbury: [to black girl] Welcome!
Michigan Girl: I'm from Michigan!
Ms. Norbury: Great!
Regina George: 120 calories and 48 calories from fat. What percent is
that?
Gretchen: Uh, 48 into 120?
Regina George: I'm only eating foods with less than 30 percent
calories from fat.
Cady: It's 40 percent. Well 48 over 120 equals X over 100 and then you
cross multiply and get the value of X.
Regina George: Whatever, I'm getting cheese fries.
Ms. Norbury: You nervous?
Cady: Yes.
Ms. Norbury: Don't be. You can do this. There's nothing to break your
focus, because not one of those Marymount boys is cute.
Janis: There are two kinds of evil people in this world. Those who do
evil things and those who see evil things and don't try to stop it
Cady: Everyone in Africa knows Swedish
Crying Girl: I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle
school... I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles
and everyone would eat and be happy...
Damian: She doesn't even go here!
Ms. Norbury: Do you even go to this school?
Crying Girl: No... I just have a lot of feelings...
Ms. Norbury: Ok go home.
Regina: We do not have a clique problem at this school.
Gretchen: But you do have to watch out for "frenemies".
Regina: What are "frenemies"?
Gretchen: Frenemies are enemies who act like friends. We call them
"frenemies".
Karen: Or "enemends".
Gretchen: Or friends who secretly hate you, we call them "fraitors".
Regina: That is so gay.
Karen: What if we called them "mean-em-aitors"?
Gretchen: No, honey, it has to have the word "friend" in it.
Karen: Oh...
Gretchen: Well, I mean you wouldn't buy a skirt without asking your
friends first if it looks good on you.
Cady: I wouldn't?
Gretchen: Right. Oh, and it's the same with guys. Like, you may think
you like someone, but you could be wrong.
Cady: What do we even talk about?
Janis: [shrugs shoulders] Hair products!
Damian: [interrupts] Ashton Kutcher.
Cady: Is that a band?
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