Monday August 9th:
Hey everyone, just thought I’d update my blog to let you all know what’s coming up. Tomorrow, I’ll be on TRL, then Wednesday I’m heading up to Canada to MM, and then Friday will be the first day of the tour, I can’t wait!

Signing off got to get ready for my tour portraits.

F.x

Fio logged out of her site, and slammed the laptop shut. She couldn’t re-read what she had just written, it was so false. I can’t wait was the real downer. I can wait thought Fio, and I have been thinking it for a long time.

Fio sighed, and got out of her chair. She looked round her hotel bedroom. The 32” wide screen, the 24 hour internet connection, the mini bar that she didn’t have to pay for, the rails of clothes. Sure she loved the luxuries, but she could definitely live without them. They weren’t love, and they couldn’t make up for her lack of it.

She flopped down on the bed and closed her eyes. She tried to picture her old room back in her hometown, Houston, Texas. She hadn’t been there for a year or so, so it was tough to imagine. She drifted to her small house, the middle of nowhere. She opened the front door and walked up the stairs to the second door on the right. Her room.

As she opened the door, a beam of light flicked out the crack. Fully open, the room came alight. The room was light, fresh, and breezy, the walls painted the shade sky blue. She walked over to her dresser, and felt the smoothness of the wood. She picked up the family photo that sat on it. The frame was slightly broken, but it hadn’t been when she lived there. She walked over to her single bed, still with the photo in her hand. She lay down on it, and pulled the soft blanket up to her neck, and closed her eyes.

When she opened them, she was still in the hotel room. She could feel her skin was wet round her eyes and cheeks. The door suddenly opened and a guy walked in.

“Hey, your mom sent me up. She says if your not down in 5, there leaving. She said I could let myself in.”
The guy looked over to Fio, and noticed her eyes.
“Sorry, I should have knocked,” apologised the guy.
Fio sat up on the bed, and whipped her eyes.
“No it’s fine, it’s the pillow, I’m allergic to duck feathers,” said Fio thinking fast.
“Right,” said the guy, not truly believing what she had said.

Fio shook herself out of her daydream.
“Sorry, but who the hell are you?” asked Fio.
The guy realised his rudeness.
“Oh sorry, hi, I’m Greg. I’m interning with your PA.”
“oh…right,” said Fio pushing herself off her bed and walking towards Greg, “Well, Greg, Hi, I’m…”
“Fio Valentine,” Said Greg, cutting in.
Fio brain blocked for a minute, thinking why he knew her name.
“Oh right yeah,” said Fio, laughing nervously.
Greg smiled cutely back at her.

Fio walked over to the clothes rail and picked out the first outfit, then placed it down on her bed, before flopping down next to it and sighing. Greg could tell Fio was upset, so her decided to break the don’t get involved rule.
“Look Fio, are you OK? I could tell your mom you just need a few or summit?”
Fio looked up towards Greg. She didn’t even know this guy, yet something about him made her want to tell him her life story. She sighed.
“Do you ever think there’s something more?” asked Fio.
Greg put his clipboard down on her dresser, and pulled out the chair.
“Do you mean in life?” asked Greg.
“Yeah”
Greg shifted in his Chair.
“I guess I do. It’s pretty much how I came to be interning.”

“After I finished High school, I got stuck. I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t afford to go to college, and I couldn’t find a job that was me. I started staying out late, drinking; it was getting me no where. Then one day, I just cracked. I knew I had to do something better with my life than let it waste away. So I got off my backside and starting looking for something. A friend of my suggested that interning might help me choose something I was good at, and that’s how I wound up here.”

Fio was quiet for a minute, taking in what Greg had said.
“Sometimes, you know, it just gets so lonely,” said Fio, playing with the corner of a blanket. She could feel her eyes going again.
“I don’t think I ever truly wanted all this, this life. It was my mum who did it all after she broke up with my dad. She sent out demo’s, she picked the songs. I just wanted to sing. I wanted people to like my songs, I wanted to write my songs. I didn’t want endless nights in different room, different places everyday, going to premiers of films I don’t want see, organising nights out with people just to be seen with them. I didn’t want it.”

Greg could see the sadness in Fio’s eyes.
“Look, you obviously unhappy. Living this life isn’t making you feel good. You need to change it, make it your way. Live it how you wanna live.”
“That’s easier said them done,” said Fio.
Greg got off the chair and went to the bed to sit next to Fio.
“Make the change, Fio. It’s all you gotta do, make the change, say it” said Greg.
“Make the change,” said Fio, weakly.
“Sorry what was that?” said Greg, putting his hand to his ear.
“Make the change,” said Fio, laughing.

Things went silent for a minute, then Greg took something out of his pocket.
“Look, here’s my email and my cell. If you ever need to talk to you know.”
Fio reached out and took the card from out of his hand.
“Thanks,” said Fio, feeling oddly shy.
Greg got off the bed and picked up his clipboard.
“Look, I’ll make an excuse for you. I’ll say your fixing your hair or summit, buy you some time.”
“Thanks,” said Fio smiling.
Greg smiled and turned to leave the room. Just before closing the door, Greg turned back.
“Make the change”
“Right,” said Fio laughing, and throwing a pillow at the door.
As it shut, Fio got up and went over to her laptop. She logged into her site.
Monday August 9th: EDIT

I decided to delete the last entry because this blog is suppose to be honest. And that entry wasn’t, you deserve the truth.

Lately, I haven’t been feeling right about anything, about my music, my career, my life, I have been completely confused about it all.
I always thought I would grow to love it but I haven’t and I don’t think it’s a good think to keep going on like this. I want to put all my heart, soul and love in my music, but I’m not, and its not fair on anyone.

So I decided after the tour, I’m going to take some time out, figure out what I want and need to do to be happier. Because sometime even with lots of people around me, it’s lonely you know?

I hope you aren’t disappointed in me for doing this, and I hope there are fans out there who can relate to this, id love to hear from you. I’m gonna keep going with this blog, it very therapeutic.

I hope you all understand.

Love Fio xoxo

Ps. I made the change G!