There across the room she sat, happily humming to her favorite song. It seemed as if I should hurry up and talk to her but, all I could think is, what a beautiful portrait of happiness. I couldn’t help but dwell on the fact that sooner than later I would be telling her something, something that will destroy that brightness to her. But, I also knew that if I didn’t it wouldn’t take too long for it to shatter, and I would rather it be me that conveys the terrible news.

I silently walked over to her with a fake smile on my face, hoping I wasn’t completely unable to portray the gesture. She smiled back at me but still it wasn’t the same as mine, seeing as she was truthfully rendering a feeling. As I got closer to her she sat patiently staring up at me unsure about what I was doing.

Finally, I got close enough to drop to the bay window’s ledge as she looked up into my eyes eager as ever to get what is repeating inside my head to come out into the open. I opened my mouth to say it, and just as quickly closed it because I just couldn’t do this to her. But also going through my mind was the thought of if I didn’t and she found out some unmerciful way. I knew I couldn’t bare that as well. So my thoughts rambled through my head and one was most acknowledged “Just spit it out, Jullie!”

So, carefully choosing my words I said, “Abigail, I have something to say to you but it isn’t the best of news.” Her face quickly turned into an aspect of distressed. I quickly opened my mouth to reassure her, and then realized “What is there to reassure her about? Why shouldn’t she be scared?”.

Once again I began speaking only this time my head began to droop, “Honey, I have to be truthful, and the truth isn’t always something wonderful. Please understand I’m here for you, always and I will never, ever, want to hurt you the way this is about to. ” I looked up at her with a pleading glance and started again, “Know that and never forget it”. I then let my eyes look to the window seeing all the wonderfulness of the garden. There doing just that I was able to begin again, “I never would have wanted this to happen and it’s hurting me too but it’s something that does happen. Remember how Grandma hasn’t been doing to well? Well just recently she began to drift out of her right mind and you have to understand that this is because she is pretty old. But, this time she doesn’t seem as if she is going to recover. ”

She looked up at me with watery eyes then she pleaded “What do you mean ‘she’s not going to recover’? ’”

I began to feel even worse by what she just said and quickly began to feel tears trying to break through my eyes. “What I’m trying to say is that Grandma probably won’t last the night.” I began to feel tears plunge from my eyes and down my face. I could see her eyes swelling up about to burst full of tears as well. I looked at her and she looked at me and we fell into an embrace much needed for both of us. Once we held each other a while we let go and looked at each other both of our faces overflowing with wetness and sadness. I couldn’t think of anything else to say, I mean “what should I say?” So I took her hand and lead her to her bed. She sat on it without any elegance then dropped my hand and situated herself to be under the covers. I silently tucked her in, gave her a slight kiss on her head, and then squeezed her hand one last time before I silently slipped through the crack in the door.

I weakly walked into the kitchen and grabbed a cup and got some cold water into it. I went directly to my room still in a haze from being tired and also from what just happened. I still could barely believe the news myself, so it was still so hard to know. I let the cold water pass through my lips and soothingly go down my throat. I really needed that from crying so much. Next thing I know the phone rings, I pick it up and say “Hello?”.

The voice on the other end tells me Grandma has passed away. I stare into the blackness and then finally come back to life when I hear the voice on the other end say “Are you ok?” I can tell the voice is still crying themselves and has true worry in their voice. My mom finally says “ She fought honey, but it was her time, she’s happy now.”